Addressing your invitations and save the dates sounds like one of the simplest parts of the whole wedding planning process, right? I mean you have been sending letters in the mail for years now.
Wrong.
Addressing these envelopes is a whole different beast entirely. Are you going to pay a calligrapher or address them yourself? What’s the difference in the inner and outer envelopes? Are abbreviations allowed?
We’ve got you covered on the most common concerns and how to tackle this “simple” task.
The Basics
Traditionally, save the dates are less formal than the invitations. This idea is carried through the addressing process with abbreviations and titles.
On formal invitations, the outer envelope uses titles and no abbreviations. The inner envelope can use first names or titles. The inner envelope has only the names of the recipients, no mailing information.
The Recipient
Depending on the marital status of the recipient and the formality of the invitation, the way it’s written can change.
An Unmarried Female
The title Ms. is appropriate for women over the age of 18, while Miss is preferred for those under 18.
Save the Dates
Titles can go either way with save the dates. Choose which your prefer:
- Hanna Howell
- Ms. Hanna Howell
If the guest is getting a plus one, simply add “and Guest.”
- Ms. Hanna Howell & Guest
Formal Invitations
Outer Envelope: Use the most formal language on the outer envelope
- Ms. Hanna Howell
Inner Envelope:
- Ms. Howell
- Hanna
- Hanna & Guest
Only add “and guest” to the inner envelope if the attendee is receiving a plus one.
An Unmarried Male
Mr. should only be used if the guest is over 18.
Save the Dates
Titles can go either way with save the dates. Choose which your prefer:
- Mr. John Smith
- John Smith
If the guest is getting a plus one, simple add “and Guest.”
- Mr. John Smith & Guest
Formal Invitations
Outer Envelope: Use the most formal language on the outer envelope. Remember to only use “Mr.” if the guest is over 18.
- Mr. John Smith
Inner Envelope:
- Mr. Smith
- John
- John & Guest
Only add “and guest” to the inner envelope if the attendee is receiving a plus one
Married Couples
Traditionally, in a heterosexual relationship, the man’s name will go first followed by the woman’s name. In a same-sex relationship, either partner’s name can be listed first. If either partner has a distinguished title (doctor, reverend, military titles, academic titles, etc.), then that person should be listed first.
Save the Dates
Once again, since this is a less-formal document it is acceptable to leave off titles if you prefer.
- Tommy & Laurie Mullins
- Mr. and Mrs. Tommy Mullins
- Mr. Tommy Mullins and Mrs. Laurie Mullins
- Hon. Laurie Mullins and Mr. Tommy Mullins
Formal Invitations
Use the most formal language on the outer envelope.
Outer Envelope:
- Mr. and Mrs. Tommy Mullins
- Mr. Tommy Mullins and Mrs. Laurie Mullins
- The Honorable Laurie Mullins and Mr. Tommy Mullins
Inner Envelope
- Mr. and Mrs. Mullins
- Mr. Mullins and Mrs. Mullins
- Tommy & Laurie
- The Honorable and Mr. Mullins
Couples with Different Last Names
Include both names on the invitation. For heterosexual couples, the man’s name traditionally appears first; however, if you are closer with the woman and the man would be attending as her guest, write her name first. For same-sex couples, this same rule can be followed. If you’re equally close with both partners, consider alphabetizing the name.
Save the Dates
Titles are not required on save the dates, so it’s left up to personal preference.
- Christopher Blankenship & Natalie Mullins
- Mr. Christopher Blankenship & Ms. Natalie Mullins
- Ms. Natalie Mullins & Mr. Christopher Blankenship
Formal Invitations
Outer Envelope:
- Ms. Natalie Mullins and Mr. Christopher Blankenship
Inner Envelope:
- Ms. Mullins and Mr. Blankenship
- Natalie and Chris
Families
If you are inviting a family including children, make sure to make it clear by listing everyone’s name. Girls under 18 use the title “Miss” and boys under 18 receive no title.
Save the Dates
For this informal mailing, you can simply use the family’s last name or list everyone (with or without applicable titles).
- The Taylors
- The Taylor Family
- Greg, Amanda, Catherine and Carter Taylor
- Mr. Greg, Mrs. Amanda, Miss Catherine and Carter Taylor
Formal Invitations
The outer envelope can list the family or the parents’ names even if the entire family is invited. Be more specific on the inner envelope by listing everyone’s name that is included on the guest list.
Outer Envelope:
- The Taylors
- The Taylor Family
- Mr. and Mrs. Greg Taylor
- Mr. Greg Taylor and Mrs. Amanda Taylor
Inner Envelope:
- Mr. Greg, Mrs. Amanda, Miss Catherine, and Carter Taylor
- Greg, Amanda, Catherine and Carter
- Greg, Amanada, Miss Catherine, and Carter Taylor
The Street Address
On formal mailings, do not use any abbreviations in the street address. Our recommendation is to use abbreviations only for the state on save the dates and no abbreviations on formal invitations. Here are some examples:
Traditional Street Address
123 Main Street
Anytown, California
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Address with an Apartment
1719 South Elm Avenue
Apartment 90R
Anytown, California
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PO Box
PO Box 151
Anytown, California
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Addresses with Directional Abbreviations
Every rule has its exception: if an address has a directional abbreviation like NW or S, use the abbreviation. This will ensure your invitation makes it to its intended recipient and the postal service doesn’t have an issue reading the address.
56 First Street SW
Anytown, Californa
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If you are planning a wedding in Roanoke, Richmond, Fredericksburg/Northern Virginia, The Shenandoah Valley, Coastal Virginia, or Charlottesville/ Lynchburg, Virginia, we can help with your wedding planning and ideas.
